Alcohol And Relationships: How Alcohol Can Affect Us

While sharing a drink with your spouse or partner can be a way to enjoy an evening together. However,  when drinking gets out of control, it can lead to issues within your relationship. Alcohol use disorder is one of the most common addictions individuals struggle with. The impacts extend beyond the individual, often negatively impacting those around them, especially their spouse or partner. There are many associations between alcohol and relationships, not only leading to higher rates of conflict but also influencing their partner’s well-being and safety.

The link between alcohol abuse and violence is well established. The American Psychological Association details how children and spouses of alcoholics frequently encounter violence. Relationships that involve one or both partners who abuse alcohol can have a higher rate of conflict, financial difficulties, trust issues, and more. Alcohol use disorder can have far-reaching effects on a person, their relationships, and families, even increasing the risk for children of alcoholics to develop similar issues.

Fortunately, alcohol addiction is treatable and with appropriate support, families can begin to heal. Comprehensive addiction treatment programs not only help an individual overcome alcohol dependency but also incorporate family therapy programs to address the far-reaching effects of alcoholism. Moreover, research has shown that family involvement through these programs can greatly improve recovery outcomes. 

What Are the Problems With Alcohol in Relationships?

The connection between alcohol and relationships is significant, encompassing drinking behaviors, their effects on relationships, and the recovery process. Marriage.com highlights some of the profound impacts of alcohol in relationships, which include:

Potential for abusive behavior. Drinking affects a person’s mood, which can lead to aggressive and violent behavior. One of the most serious impacts of alcohol in relationships is the increased risk of physical violence. However, the impact of alcohol is not purely physical. Domestic partners of those with a substance use disorder sometimes report having to deal with negative behavior, extreme mood swings, and unstable emotions. Furthermore, intimate partner violence involving alcohol can include forced sexual intercourse and controlling behavior.

Heightened conflict in relationships. Alcohol makes it harder to moderate emotions and behaviors, leading to more impulsiveness, which can lead to escalating conflict patterns where one or both partners struggle with their anger.

Deterioration of trust. Drinking can erode trust between partners due to broken promises, dishonesty, and unpredictable behavior. There is also a link between alcohol and infidelity, often stemming from impaired judgment.   

Compromised communication. Relationships can become strained due to the quality of communication and decreased healthy interactions. Alcohol impairs cognitive function, inhibiting effective communication and leading to misunderstandings and challenges in expressing thoughts and feelings.

Financial strain. Disagreements about finance are one of the top sources of conflict in relationships. Couples may experience financial strain due to one partner’s drinking habits, which can lead to spending savings on alcohol, job loss, and the high costs associated with recovery programs.

Why Is It Hard to Have a Relationship With an Alcoholic?

Understanding the challenges of being in a relationship with an alcoholic begins with some insight into the typical behaviors of an alcoholic. While every person reacts to alcohol and alcohol abuse differently, there are several common behavioral patterns:

Personality changes, including mood swings and aggressiveness.

Unreliability, where commitments and responsibilities are neglected due to drinking.

Secretive behaviors about their drinking habits and the effects on their life.

A significant lack of self-control.

Little to no motivation to engage in activities or responsibilities.

Deteriorating mental state, often manifesting as anxiety and depression.

Alcohol use and addiction change the brain, causing compulsive alcohol-seeking behavior and use despite negative consequences. This can result in dishonest and manipulative behavior, complicating relationships. The person may seem like their only concern is their next drink. It can be challenging to deal with someone who is frequently intoxicated, as their personality changes and they have difficulty connecting in meaningful ways. Individuals with alcohol use disorder often may disappoint their loved ones by prioritizing drinking or being too hungover to fulfill their responsibilities and promises. Additionally, relationships with alcoholics are challenging as partners may struggle with the guilt of leaving someone for their own sake and not wanting to abandon someone in their time of need. 

What Happens to the Spouse of an Alcoholic?

Alcohol use disorders can significantly affect the mental well-being of spouses. Caring and coping for an alcoholic can be overwhelming, often resulting in psychological stress and symptoms of depression in spouses of alcoholics. Constantly worrying about the alcoholic’s health, dealing with financial strain, and managing disruptions to everyday life can all exacerbate mental health struggles. They may be victims of domestic violence and abuse if the person develops aggressive behaviors due to their drinking. Furthermore, spouses may also become isolated as they try to hide their partner’s alcoholic behavior. There is also a danger of developing codependent behaviors, where the spouse may inadvertently enable their addiction.

What’s It Like Being Married to An Alcoholic?

Unhealthy drinking patterns can take a toll on any relationship, but the effects are particularly severe in marriages. Being married to an alcoholic can be frightening and stressful, affecting numerous aspects of life and the partnership itself. Often, this situation leads to one partner taking on all household responsibilities, as the other may frequently be too intoxicated or hungover to fulfill their role in areas such as childcare and chores. Additionally, living with an alcoholic can lead to emotional stress with feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. Stress and anxiety from the relationship can also lead to health problems, including high blood pressure, weakened immune system, and sleep disturbances.

Moreover, alcoholism increases the risk of domestic violence, posing serious threats to a person’s safety and well-being. In severe cases of chronic or excessive alcohol consumption, a person may develop alcohol-induced psychosis, which is characterized by delusions, hallucinations, and disordered thinking, which can be frightening and dangerous for the people around them. Many spouses find their relationships with friends and family become strained as they try to manage the complexities of their partner’s addiction while safeguarding their own emotional and physical health. Often, those married to alcoholics may lose sight of their own identity, neglecting their needs, interests, and aspirations.

Contact Living Longer Recovery for Help With Alcohol and Relationships

Alcohol addiction has a profound effect on individuals and their families. Seeking professional assistance from an addiction treatment center can offer the essential support needed to repair the effects of alcohol and relationships. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy emphasizes the importance of couples therapy in addressing conflicts that arise in relationships affected by alcohol addiction. Simply stopping drinking often doesn’t resolve underlying relationship issues. Resolving these issues not only allows for the healing of a relationship but also improves recovery outcomes.

At Living Longer Recovery, our programs focus on providing personalized treatment programs aimed at addressing the root causes of addiction and equipping patients with effective tools and coping strategies for long-term recovery. Our family therapy programs highlight the importance of family involvement in the recovery process, aiming to mend the harm caused by alcoholism while also guiding families on how to care for themselves and support their loved ones effectively.

If you or your partner are struggling with alcohol abuse, it’s never too early to seek help. Contact us today at 866-714-3294 to set up your initial intake and start on the road toward recovery.

External Sources

• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – Substance Abuse and Intimate Relationships 
• American Psychological Association – Understanding alcohol use disorders and their treatment  
• Marriage.Com – 10 Reasons Why Alcohol Ruins Relationships